The girl in my dreams...

When I close my eyes, my dreams play out in front of me.

I see myself exactly as I should be.

I see the smile, I hear the laughter

I see myself dance, twirl.

Confidence, joy, poise, hope, grace

Loving the world in the palm of my hands...

I hug myself and giggle, I love this dream.

I slowly open my eyes and look at the mirror in front of me.

The smile vanishes

I drop my arms, my eyes water.

The girl I saw in my dreams is not the girl staring back at me....

But every time I dream she is there,

She wonders why I wont join her;

why I wont share in her joy, in her journey.

The control and freedom in her hands feels better than any food.

The chance to run like the wind, or swim in the ocean without fear

is worth the sweat and devotion...

I will not make her wait any longer.

The girl in my dreams was 90lbs away a few months ago, after

27lbs she's only 63lbs away. So close, so close. I'm coming to you MystiQue.

And I will not let you down.

Decided to suck it up and add some before and after pics for my blog and FB friends...

They wont be up for long though, so get ur fill fast :)

Smooches:

Day 1: Purpose and Poise

A moment of pain, or a minute of pleasure;

are nothing short of a drop in all the oceans combined.

That burning love, that burst of joy is nothing but

fine dust floating away on a breeze.

For too long we hold on to memories and dreams

For too long we hold on to nothingness

We spend years pursuing a desire a seemingly worthy need

We spend years pursuing dust...

Regrardless of how cliche-ish this sounds; a new year really is a chance for a new start. I am making that new beginning. For too many years I have held on to past hurts and turned them into excuses for living my present. For too long I have held on to past successes, and used them as absolution for procrastination. Yeah, um...not anymore. Life is too short.

Shorter than a sunrise, less than a sigh,

Less than the blink of His eye,

That is how long life truly is

This past year I have made a lot of changes, this new year I plan on moving on to a new level. This blog is my diary, my recording of the progress and failures I will no doubt make in 2011. This blog is advice for you, sometimes entertainment...either way you will learn a lot about me and about you....